I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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