What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
