I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize