i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
