You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
