i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
