you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
