I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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