Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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