my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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