gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
