Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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