He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
