I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
