I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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