I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
two words: eviction party
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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