I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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