$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
