I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize