oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
this boner is exhausting
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
