Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"

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(347): View more from New York

your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

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(409): View more from Texas

There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.

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(540): View more from Virginia

It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...

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(586): View more from Michigan

So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here

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(831): View more from California

Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.

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