You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
