u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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