Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I currently don't understand fingers.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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