I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
