Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
