how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
