Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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