what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
