When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
