Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
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