just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
