The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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