What a fucking waste of an outfit
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Panties = found
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
