He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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