It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
