Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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