guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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