sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize