More tranny stories later!
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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