So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
