i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize