i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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