Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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