I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
