he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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