The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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