How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it's like heaven, but drunker
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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