I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
