Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize