shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
A bitchslap is in order.
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