He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
