5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize