Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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