why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize