Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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