separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
