...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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