So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
