dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
