im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
