she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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