Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
