I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
