I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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