Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
