you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
