How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
