When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
